scrolling

i think i should’ve dated him but

one new notification from facebook

did i remember to email my professor

that reminds me

what time am i signed up for

how long has it been since i called her

i should make that playlist of friendship-themed

i hope i listened to her and she doesn’t think my silence meant i resent her for

this buzzfeed article about eating healthy will only stress me out so

why am i clicking on it

wonder what my face looks like right now

how come my skin is both oily and dry

i should drink more water

one new email

one new game request

do other people sweat this much

have i checked my grades recently

she looks so happy in this picture

why am i not like

someone tagged you in a picture

i look happy

probably because, for once

i wasn’t scrolling

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Where Do You Hide?

Where do you hide when you need to be alone

When the world seems too big and too small

When you don’t want to talk to anyone at all

Where do you hide when you can’t breathe

When your peripheral vision starts to blur

When your sinkhole depression starts to occur

Where do you hide when you need the world to just stop

When reality becomes too much for your brain

When you’re afraid your stress will make permanent stains

Where do you hide?

Because I want to know

When you’re running on empty

Where do you go?

I’m right here

Tucked in my hiding place

With the smell of books

And tears on my face

There’s room for one more

If you need to hide

It’s okay if you’re broken

Please, come inside

Math

Math is a monster

There is nothing more that I detest

Even just looking at a problem

Can leave me so distressed

Oh, how I wish for a remedy

To slay the gruesome beast

But alas, I have found none

And on my poor brains it feasts

Away and away it chews

Until I can think no more

Quivering, twitching, a wreck

I am, lying upon the floor

So begone, math!

Curses upon you!

Leave me in peace,

Bid me adieu!

 

The Riverbank, Part One

For the longest time, I just sat by the riverbank

Too scared to swim across

With each tear I shed, the waters grew larger

Every shaky breath I took turned to wind

Inky black tumultuous waves

Black from the mascara I wore to hide my unhappiness

But with every tear, my shield dripped away

Consumed by fear, obsessed with the water

Riveted, terrified, depressed

But then my hand slipped out from the other

Unlocking my knees from my chest

Touching something that felt familiar

The soft lushness of thin blades

Emerald grass grew for miles, I found

As I began to look at my surroundings

Vibrant colors I hadn’t noticed

Green grass, the scarlet flowers that swayed

The sky was blue, so very blue

And I wanted to kiss it for saving me

Trees soared above my head

Solid like I wished to be

They knew my wish, so they gave me their branches

And I built a bridge over the river

When I finished, I walked across it

And I saw, looking back, that the water was still there

But somehow,

I was no longer afraid